I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
