the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
