apparently the secret to your success is patron
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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