I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
