it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
