you turned your livingroom into a bong?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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