He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
