I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is wine microwaveable?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
