the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
