She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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