You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
