stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
