Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
