you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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