the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
