Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my being single is dangerous.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
