he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize