so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
