we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
