omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
