I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
