this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
