one might say we're banned from that church
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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