forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
