Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
