Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
