It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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