3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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