normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. š
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so Iād say itās safe to say it was a good weekend
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dogās dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a āwater bottleā. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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