Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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