I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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