If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
