With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
