the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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