Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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