I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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