But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
