no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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