Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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