So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
