My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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