I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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