9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
