Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
