And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
