i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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