she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
