yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
