yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize