I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
