god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
