i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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