I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
