Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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